Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow-- stitches come OUT!

   It's now been 11 days post surgery and let me just say, I've never been so happy for a Monday filled with doctors appointments. First I head to my ortho surgeon, Dr. Wilckens, to have these dreaded bandages and stitches removed. Then I am treating myself to a solid dose of physical therapy with the amazing Physiotherapy team. Lindsay, to be exact. Lindsay is nothing short of amazing... she worked with me pre surgery to get my knee and quad muscles ready for this so I would lose minimal muscle mass and range of motion. Lindsay will also kick my ass throughout this recovery but I know it's all worth it so I'm happy to comply. I don't exactly know what to expect; I know it's not going to be oh it's a miracle I'm perfect, but I'm hoping to start at least making actual progress.
   The past 5 days have been much of the same. Lounging like a lump, watching sons of anarchy and being waited on hand and foot. Sounds great right? Not for me. While my parents and uncle did an amazing job taking care of me, I hate being an obligation. I don't know how anyone recovers from this surgery on their own, there's no way I could have done it without them. They haven't even muttered one complaint, and I owe them big time.
   Things that have changed: I can see my ankle bone! The swelling in my ankle has finally localized to just being a large bruise.

My cankle that I had for a week. Sexy, right?

Bathing was no small feat. Definitely not relaxing!

I've gotten better at sleeping and moving around on crutches.I've gotten better at bathing, but it's still an ordeal and since you only get so gross laying around, I only bothered with it 3 times. I cannot wait to shower, let alone on a daily basis again. I also can't wait to do laundry and clean my room. I'm crazy, I know this.
   Things that have not improved: I still can't do a leg raise. My quad muscle can contract, but that causes mild pain. The worst times are in the morning and late at night, and standing up.
   It's worse in the morning because my muscles naturally want to stretch and move, especially since I can't roll around like I usually would. My quad can't fully stretch but it keeps trying, meanwhile I'm not awake enough to stop it and it causes mild discomfort. Standing sucks because the heavy, steel enforced brace pulls down on my bandages and stitches. The only upside to this: waking up in the middle of the night, pain makes you alert real quick. At night it's no party because you have to lay down, and stay there. No wiggling into that perfect position. I have to actively try to fall asleep. Benadryl and zzzquil help. I've also found I can lay on my side (good leg down, pillow supporting bad leg) but if I want to shift, I have to wake up to do it.
   Things I've found to help! I take the big brace off when I'm in bed. It's heavy, it's uncomfortable, and it  makes my stitches hurt. I still sleep with it, and if I crawl up or downstairs of course I put it on. I stopped taking my pain meds a few days ago,but I still take ibuprofen and while I still have pain, it's not enough to constitute narcotics, at least not to me. Having a support team is also a huge help, and I don't just mean good doctors. I've had friends check on me everyday, and they haven't complained about my incessant whining on the bad days.
   Every surgery is going to be little different, and each doctor follows their own protocol for what they think is best. I just hope this blog helps at least a few people who may not know what to have expected going into ACL reconstruction surgery. I'll keep you posted how phase two of recovery goes!
 

Days 5 & 6... Sleep Happens

   So there hasn't been much change pain or comfort wise. I still have a cankle despite keeping my leg elevated and iced regularly. The pain in worst when I stand, I feel like the stitches are being pulled funny. Yesterday, day 5, I slept most of the day. Rest is necessary to let the body heal. Rest, water, and healthy foods. I'm closer to doing a leg raise, and I can get in and out of bed a little bit easier.
   Today was actually a little exciting-- I got to take a bath! I still can't take the bandages off so I had to keep my left leg out of the tub but after a week without showering, it was amazing. For me to bathe though, I had to walk like someone from an exorcist movie up the stairs. By walk, I mean crawl up backwards. Yay for arm muscles! Luckily for me though my shower and tub have a handicap bar installed and a removable shower head so once I was up there and in, it wasn't that bad, and was most definitely worth it. I also got to leave the house today-- for a dentist appointment. Although, after major surgery, getting a filling is nothing.
   Since I'm over the hardest of the painful parts, I've been weaning myself off of my pain meds. While they aren't extremely strong, they are still a narcotic and can be addictive. I've had slight nausea because of this, and because my body isn't used to having so many medications in it regardless, but nothing some saltines and sleep can't help. Like I've said before, everyone is different, but if pain control ever becomes a problem you should always call your surgeon. I'm done with my prescription anti-inflammatory meds but am still taking lower dose ibuprofen to help with pain and swelling.
   Other than my little afternoon adventure, the rest of my day was much like all the others. I had a friend come visit and binge watch Sons of Anarchy with me. It's always nice to have visitors, it can get quite boring just being in bed all day by yourself.
   I keep waking up, hoping I'll feel better and getting bummed by feeling the same. Unfortunately this recovery is a long one. While I can't wait to get these bandages and stitches out, I know physical therapy won't be a walk in the park. I have a long road of discomfort and frustration ahead of me but I just try to remain optimistic and tell myself that because I got this surgery, I will be able to do the things I love again. I'll be able to run and squat and lunge and jump without worry of my knee giving out, and possibly taking my meniscus with it. Hell, I'll be able to go out and wear heels and dance without falling before I'm even tipsy! I've been fortunate to have a great support system on the standby to take care of me, so I know I'll get through this all. I'm not looking forward to the scars I'll have, but it'll just be another battle wound. Another badge of honor to remind me of the things I've overcome thus far.

Days 3 & 4; It Was All A Blur

   When you are confined to a bed and your biggest accomplishment of the day is putting on clean pajamas, the days start to get tedious. Yesterday (Day 3) I spent most of the day getting extremely necessary sleep. I was in and out of nap time until around 3 pm, when I finally got up to eat crabs. I was quite out of it too, since the day before had been so bad pain wise, I took my pain meds more often and added in more anti-inflammatory meds. Keep in mind, everyone is different and reacts to pain differently so you have to find what works for you within the realm of what is still healthy and doctor approved. I kept cycling on my ice, taking my meds, and slept.
   I did get a small adventure yesterday! My friend Caitlin came to visit, and promptly broke her phone on accident. So into pants I went, crutched out to the car, and rode to verizon to get her a new one. That was about all I had the energy for though so after that, it was back in bed but at least I had company. Today we had breakfast in bed and then another friend drove out to spend the afternoon with me! While I know it's far from exciting for them, it was much appreciated by me! My pain has lessened but I'm still not bearing weight on my leg or getting around well so I'm pretty stuck in one general spot with my leg propped up.
   I tried today to do leg raises, as were prescribed, but with no luck. My leg is simply useless but I'll let it take it's time to heal. It's not radiating as much heat, but there is still a good deal of discomfort around where my stitches are. I'm extremely paranoid about moving my leg wrong and messing my leg up but I think a lot of this is because I can't see anything, and all the feelings are alien. It's extremely hard to find a comfortable position but I'm trying to keep my leg elevated as often as I can. My ankle has now become cankle city; oh there are bones in there still? I'm hoping over the next day or so I can start to bear a bit of weight on my left leg and use the muscles because until then, there's no chance of me getting even a ghetto bath.
   It's a strange sensation, time is passing and day 4 of recovery is already coming to a close but I feel like barely any time has passed. I'm dreading going back to school; Towson is not very handicap accessible with all their hills and stairs but I'll have to find a way to make it work. I can just hope I start improving sooner rather than later. At least I'm enjoying all the sleeping in I've been able to do! But I'm definitely ready to have my knee and leg back to feeling dependable, and bendable!

Day Two: Holy Painful

Yesterday was a walk in the park, or I suppose a nice float on a cloud, compared to today. I'm not saying this to terrify you, but today was rough.
   First I started my day off by almost falling over while on crutches. Luckily, I hopped and balanced enough to stabilize myself. I woke up to quite a stiff knee... and when I say wake up, I mean I gave up on sleep. I slept in small 40 minute chunks, but kept having bad dreams about hitting my knee on things! The second catastrophe of the day, my cryocuff stopped working and started leaking water everywhere. So while I used gel ice packs and an older version, manual style cryocuff, my knee spent most of the day burning and throbbing. Most of the pain is around my kneecap and down my shin, which makes sense since they take a bone chunk from each, and I went with the patellar graft so there's an incision in the front of my knee with stitches. My upper thigh is also quite swollen and sore, and beginning to bruise, despite keeping my leg elevated. My pain meds didn't do much for me today, and around 5pm I finally broke down in tears from the pain. Somehow my mom managed to fix the good cryocuff and feed me dinner so I could take my anti-inflammatory meds which seemed to help a bit. I only get up to go to the bathroom, and that is a feat in itself. Getting in and out of bed is painful. My knee feels somewhat like it's being ripped apart and cauterized. But enough of the whining.
   I didn't get much sleep today either, but I did manage to distract myself with some studying and talking to friends. I will be eternally grateful to those who have been texting me all day and letting me complain. The nerve block wore off, and my thigh muscles started to twitch occasionally which caused pain. I ate a banana, the spasms stopped.
   Throughout the day I've been doing my ankle pumps to keep from blood clotting, but can't do straight leg raises yet; maybe tomorrow. My pain has been around a 5, sometimes spiking to an 8 and my leg has been hot. I am boiling through ice packs. I am assuming this is somewhat normal, as my leg underwent a trauma and there are no other signs of localized infection (such as red lines moving up my leg or fever).
   I advise you make extra gel packs, because they won't hurt to have! You can make your own at home by mixing rubbing alcohol and water in a plastic zipper bag (I double bagged, and by "I", I mean my step dad), it's 1 part rubbing alcohol to 3 parts water. These work better then solid ones because they conform right to your body for the most ice to injury contact! And the ice is SO nice.
   Laying down so much has made me stiff, so I slipped a heating pad under my back and that helped too. I'm hoping tomorrow I'm a little more comfortable moving around a little more, but today simply readjusting from laying to sitting or vice versa was a struggle. I've been told today and tomorrow are the worst, and then it starts to get better so I'm just telling myself to get through the weekend.
   The nurse from the surgery center called me today to check on me, and said I could take benadryl to help with the itchiness caused by the pain killers and help me sleep. I should hear from my surgeon too in the next few days as well. Dr. Wilckens and his team have been amazing, I highly recommend them!
    So while today was uneventful, surgery isn't expected to be fun. I just hope this helps other people in a similar situation and let them know what to expect-- hopefully it gets better quick!
   My advice: take your drugs, use ice, stay elevated, and move as little as possible. Eating healthy and staying hydrated is also a must! Get all the sleep you can get. Your body went through a traumatic experience and needs to knit itself back together.And if Ice Cream will make you happy, eat some ice cream.

The left: the inside of my knee with no ACL The right: with ACL made from patellar tendon

Surgery and Recovery: Day 1

   For any who may not know, I shredded my ACL on the 4th of July. My best friend tried to ride me like a pony! No, I don't hate her one bit, it was just one of those freak accidents that you deal with. Anyways, when I was researching ACL surgery and recovery, I wanted to read more blogs and real life accounts than doctor notes, I wanted the real life story. I only found around 3; 1 for a child, 2 for adults who were not athletes/athletic. Because I'm in great shape, and muscular, I've been told by my entire team of doctors my recovery will go great so I decided to write about it, in case someone needed the first person account! Plus I'm confined to bed, so why not write?! Please keep in mind though, I am slightly doped up on pain meds and lingering sedatives and anesthesia so try not to hate on me too hard if I make grammatical errors!

The legs before surgery!

   Surgery was scheduled bright and early, we all got up around 430am to leave by 5am. I went to the White Marsh Ambulatory Surgery Center in Baltimore, MD and they were AMAZING! The entire staff is very warm and comforting, they made me feel very at ease. They took their time to explain everything, make sure I was comfortable using crutches, and answered any questions. As a girl who is hopeful for a career in sports medicine, I know a lot about the body, but I also had a lot of questions, which they answered. I went back around 730am, and after a few jokes about tequila, I was out. Yes, I was cracking jokes before being cut open. Obviously I can't tell you how the surgery part went, but I was told I was great, a real champ, and everything went without a hitch.
   I woke up around 10am, and staying awake was a real struggle. I didn't fight very hard. I didn't have to stay in recovery long, they gave me some pain meds, popped me in a wheelchair, and sent me on my way home. I slept through most of the drive home. Getting inside was hardest. I was good on the crutches, but I was also very dizzy. Once I got inside, I got right into bed and went right back to sleep. This is really exciting to read, I know. For around 7 hours I was in and out of sleep.

   I've kept my leg elevated, with a cryocuff on it (a machine that wraps around your knee and pumps freezing water into the cuff for all over cold). I had a femoral nerve block but it didn't seem to effect me as much as I expected. I can feel minor discomfort in the front of my knee, where they harvested my patellar tendon. I didn't want to go with a cadaver, It's a bit of a pressure, and a constant dull throb but I'm staying on top of it with prescription pain meds. Very important! I pretty much stay in bed unless I need to use the restroom, which I can crutch myself to. No weight bearing allowed for 24-36 hours, and then it's already as tolerated so Mom is waiting on me hand and foot! No complaints there!

And here is my leg after surgery! The brace is huge, and I have the cryocuff on underneath. The stitches are wrapped up, and then an ace bandage over that. This stays on until December 1st!!